Hello everyone,
First of all, I want to thank God our lord who has given me guidance through my journey to the truth.
I would like to give my testimony, but I’m afraid that it will be very long, and I’m afraid it will have many mistakes because my English is not very good, although I am currently improving my English skills.
In the beginning I was a Muslim from Saudi Arabia, born in a Muslim family, and raised up as Muslim. Although it’s not important to say this, but to my case it will be in the future, I am descendant from a great tribe as well.
I went to religious schools all my life, in preparation to be a scholar, in Saudi Arabia there’s two types of schools, there’s the regular schools, and there’s the Qur’anic schools, I don’t know the right names for these types, but it’s very well known to Saudis. And when I graduated from high school, I went to Sharia college, in Imam’s University in Riyadh.
Like all students who were going to be scholars, I was dressing and speaking like a Muslim scholar, boasting about being amongst the true sect in Islam, which is the Salafism.
And in my first year in college, I formed a big library at home, containing almost every reference in the Islamic sciences.
I was a Salafi at the beginning of my studies in college, and I was also ‘Imam’ (The head of prayers in a mosque) in a mosque in Riyadh, and part of my beliefs as a Salafi is ‘Al-Wala wal Bara’, which is hating and denouncing infidels or the none Muslims, and according to this doctrine I was praying publicly and constantly in my mosque against all infidels including Christians, especially in Ramadan.
And it didn’t take very long, so when I was in the second year of my studies in college, I was doing a lot of self-studies in Islamic theologies, and my boldness and determination and constant reading in a lot of resources and references led me to break the barrier, and call Salafism a false sect, I was so afraid at the beginning to do so, because I’ve been brought up being a Salafi, and the majority of the population in Saudi Arabia are Salafists, but I left Salafism eventually, and when I graduated from college I became an Ash’ari and Sufis lover, like Al-Ghazali the great Muslim scholar.
When I graduated from college, I also finished writing my book about Tawheed, it was in 600 pages, in that book I refuted the views of Salafism about Tawheed, but I never published it, for two reasons: One I was afraid of the government, two I saw a strange dream.
I dreamt that I entered my mosque in the night, and the mosque was full and also very dark, it was a strange thing to see because my mosque never been that full and the light always turned on before the prayers, and I was very angry, because they already started the prayer without me, and all the people were standing in rows, and I was supposed to be the Imam, so I said to myself: how dare they start the prayer without me? and why the servant of the mosque did not turn on the lights?
So I had no choice but to join the last row for praying, because according to Islamic Jurisprudence it’s not allowed for one to wait while a prayer is being performed in the mosque, but I intended to blame the Imam and the servant after the prayer.
And when I joined the prayer, I noticed that there is a gap for one person in the row in front my row, so I was angry again, how dare they not to fill the gaps before starting the prayer? It’s also forbidden in the Islamic Jurisprudence to not straighten all the rows and fill the gaps, so I moved forward from my row to the gap in the row ahead.
Then I noticed again that there is another gap for one person in the row in front of me, but I did not get angry that time, because a light was fixed on the gap from the above, and the light didn’t come from the ceiling, it was rather come from beyond, and I couldn’t see from where, and the light was fixed on that particular gap that fits one person, so I liked it and I moved forward to it, then the dream was over.
Immediately I interpret the dream to be about religion and the truth, but I said to myself, I was a Salafi then I became an Ash’ari, but in the dream I stepped to the next row two times, so does that mean that there’s more truth beyond Ash’arism?
That issue bothered me, despite the fact that I was so convinced about the arguments for Ash’arism.
In all my life I’ve never dared to read the Bible, because there is a dispute between Muslim scholars about the verdict concerning reading the scriptures, the majority of scholars considered reading the scriptures a prohibited act, and I was adopting that opinion, but I don’t want to get in the details about the argument for each Islamic opinion in this issue.
And one time after I was converted to the Ash’ari sect, I got interested in the subject of Secret Societies, and how they are set to destroy Islam and it’s glory, so I started to watch many channels on YouTube about secret societies, one channel was my favorite, and he was constantly urging his followers to read the Bible, so one time he read some verses from the New testament, and it was shocking to me, because the same verse was in the Sunnah (the teachings of Muhammad)!
I had an excuse at that time to calm my curiosity, which was: Muhammad and Jesus are both messengers from God, so it’s ok to find so much similarity.
Then again the man in that channel quoted again more verses from the Bible in different occasions, which made me decide that I should read the Bible.
So with much fear I started reading the gospel of John, I was afraid for this was too much even for me, because Christianity is a different religion, and not a different sect, I told myself: if I made a mistake by leaving Islam then I will go to hell, because leaving Islam means denouncing Muhammad and his Qur’an, but with different sects in Islam you can stand before God and make your case, because anyone says the Shahada “la ilaha illa’llah” will not go to hell for eternity.
I read the Gospel of John, and I was shocked by the many similarities between the Qur’an and the Gospel, these similarities weren’t only in the teachings, but there were similarities in phrases and proverbs, and there were many, so there’s a possibility that Muhammad just stole his eloquence statements from the scriptures, this fact made me think that I should see what Christian apologists say about Islam and what argument that they have against it.
I searched YouTube for the best arguments against Islam, and I was impartial in my search I did not let my passion for Islam stand against my search.
My search led me to Dr. David Wood, and he is a specialist in refuting Islam, and his videos really shocked me, he answered many problems that I had with Islam, and I realized that Dr. Wood resurrected many fundamental problems about Islam that I had in the past and stored them somewhere in my brain, because I believed that there are answers for them, and will know them in the future, and that is the Islamic doctrine toward the problems that the Muslim might have and don’t know the answer to them, the Muslim is obligated never to think about them.
In the Qur’an Sura.3/ verse7: (It is he who has revealed the book to you, some of it’s verses are absolutely clear, and these are the core of the book, others are ambiguous, those who have perversity in their hearts, always go about the part which is ambiguous, seeking mischief and seeking it’s interpretation, although no one knows their true meaning except Allah, and those who are rooted in knowledge say: We believe in it, it’s all from our Lord).
And in the most trusted source about Muhammad’s teachings and biography, Sahih Muslim (134) (The Book of Faith): Narrated from Abu-Huraira that the messenger of Allah said: “people will continue to question amongst themselves, till this saying is propounded: This is the creation of Allah, but who created Allah? He who find something like this in his heart should say: I affirm my belief in Allah”.
This is the Islamic doctrine in this matter, when you have a problem with the fundamentals of Islam and you don’t have an answer, then you must affirm your belief and as they say sweep this problem under the rug.
Dr. wood surly destroyed my belief in Islam, so I decided to learn about the trinity, I watched many debates about the trinity, and I was so convinced by Dr. William Lane Craig’s and Dr. Nabeel Qureshi’s explanation.
So finally I said to myself: I am a Christian now. It wasn’t an easy decision, it was a very scary turn to me.
But I am happy that I’m a Christian now, it’s not easy to hide my faith from my wife, but I will continue hiding my beliefs from her, because she is still a Salafi, she wasn’t happy when I told her of my conversion to Ash’arism, and she still think that I am an Ash’ari.
I haven’t been baptized yet, and I don’t fully understand Baptism yet, there’s no churches in Saudi Arabia, and there’s no Christians in this country, in fact, if there was no Internet and I didn’t learn English then probably I would not be a Christian.
This is my testimony,
God bless you all.
